Trust is one of my core values. It feels like one of those aspects in life which is central to everything.
If there isn’t trust, then there’s no foundation to build a relationship. In my world, trust is the one thing that stands behind respect and honesty.
When I trust someone I know that they will show me respect and will do the things they say they will. I won’t be let down. This is how I behave, and how I wish to be treated – with respect, honesty and trust.
There’s an element of feeling safe when trust is present, that I can be my authentic self because I can be vulnerable and open without fear of being judged. Having this safety and trust is vital in the coaching relationship as well as daily life. It’s the reason behind why I offer a free informal chat before you commit to working with me. Asking “Will we get on?” is essentially saying, “Do you trust me?”.
The three components of trust shown here come from Powerful Questions by Professor David Clutterbuck. He’s a well respected pioneer of developmental coaching and mentoring and provides excellent thought provoking questions around the topic of trust.
- Reliability – do you do what you say you will?
- Motivation – do you have goodwill?
- Confidentiality – do you respect the other person’s privacy and keep their confidences?
Here’s a few more questions for you to reflect on:
- Who do you trust?
- What is is about their character that means you trust them?
- What would make you trust yourself more?
- How does it feel when trust is broken?
- Which of the three components do you find easiest/hardest to demonstrate to others?
Those final questions are particularly pertinent when thinking through work challenges. Does your team have your back? Can you rely on your colleagues? Are you all committed to the company’s mission and purpose? Lack of trust or feeling betrayed can lie behind the decision to move to a new job. Given we spend a considerable amount of our life at work having a trusting relationship with colleagues can make all the difference in whether you feel secure in your role. I know this first hand.
An organisation I worked for many years ago had a great sabbatical policy. When it came to the time I needed a break I applied for a period off. I was rejected for reasons which weren’t clear at the time – change in policy was quoted. After several conversations with my line manager and senior management the eventual outcome was still a rejection of my request. It felt like a rejection of my need for time away from a particularly challenging role I’d been in for 6 years. My work and time at the organisation felt devalued, I felt conned out of my turn for selfcare and a recharge. The break down of trust was so bad that I was forced to quit my job to protect my mental health.
Have trust in yourself
My final point is this. Trust yourself. Know that you are good enough and everything will be OK even when you mess up. Life is messy enough without beating yourself up for each mistake made or doubting each decision you make. Trust that in the moment you make the decision that is right for the person you at that point in time. I know I never regretted quitting that job when a sabbatical was denied.
Life coaching conversations can help you adopt better habits and thought patterns. You have the space and time to explore what keeps you stuck, unfulfilled and not living aligned to your values. If this sounds like something you’d like to look into take a look at the Services I offer or get in touch to arrange an initial free and informal chat.