Acting Courageously to Build Confidence by completing a 21 Day Video Challenge
Near the start of December I set myself a challenge in order to give me a boost in confidence.
Specifically, I wanted to become less fearful and anxious about recording and posting videos, so I decided to post one video each day for 21 days, ending on Christmas Day.
This was not a thing which came natural to me. I knew that by overcoming this stumbling block my confidence would increase, and it has.
A little more about why I was doing this challenge
Like a lot of people, I shy away from doing things that push me out of my comfort zone. This is a natural human tendency. My personal reasons for doing this challenge were connected with fear of embarrassment and having doubts about my knowledge, fear of not being ‘as good as others’, fear of looking ridiculous (in terms of confidence and in comparison to others, and also in terms of my actual physical appearance). All these factors merge and create an ugly internal dialogue. The real resistance to doing the thing that will expose me shows up in various ways.
I’m a massive overthinker (talking myself out of doing things resulting in inaction). I’m also a seasoned procrastinator (distraction tactics employed are numerous), particularly with things which cause me to squirm. By publicly declaring my intentions to this challenge there was no way out. I had to post up a video each day.
By publicly declaring my intentions to this challenge there was no way out. I had to post up a video each day.
Through my coach training, and from being coached myself, I absolutely know that exposure to our fears in a controlled way can help dissipate them. We become less sensitised and learn to accept that ‘done and good enough’ is far better than striving for ‘perfect’ – which invariably means ‘never getting finished’.
If this is making you feel uncomfortable when you relate to your own fears and how you might show up when you consider entering your squirmy zone, I get it. This is a good reaction because you’ll see from my lessons learned below things can change.
I knew I’d never get over this fear and would always be hiding myself if I didn’t do this challenge. I really did want to build my confidence and feel happy showing showing my face, talking to camera and posting up videos. Doing the videos consistently was how I was going to do just that.
The overriding push to do this, and why this is important to me is because I have always believed it is the right thing to practice what we teach. I hope to make a better, more well rounded coach by showing my raw and authentic self. I am committed to self-development and knew this was an obstacle to part of the journey of being an effective coach.
Did I have any rules within the challenge?
Scripted or ad lib?
Edited or just post it up raw?
Live or pre-recorded?
No, there were no rules, except I was to post one video each day for 21 days. I wrote a list of prompts (see below) to give me a nudge towards what I wanted to discuss, and this really helped. Funnily enough I did say videos were going to be between 30-60 seconds. Turns out I can talk for a lot longer than that – I’m not sure many of my videos were under 2mins. I only edited one video, simply to remove me coughing part way through. I decided after the first couple of days that I would just post up as they were, warts and all!
From a tech perspective I had a go using a teleprompter app but mainly found it scrolled too fast, or too slow, or the pauses weren’t in the right place. I also started to ad lib part way through and couldn’t work out how to pause the script without stopping the recording. I accepted that it was OK to script very short clips where the message needs to be clear and really impactful, but this challenge needed me to be freer to speak what came to mind….hopefully without too much waffle.
With the help of a few people online I found a good app to edit my videos and add in captions – thanks for the recommendation to the CapCut app from Vicki O’Neill. It was quite satisfying learning how to do this, and then add text so I could overlay ‘Lynne Taylor Coaching’ through the videos.
In summary: Lessons Learned & Gratitude
- Things don’t need to be perfect – done and good enough is wonderful*
- What I perceive to be negative probably won’t even be noticed by others
- People are too busy listening to the message to notice if my hair is messy
- It’s better to show up as the real me, not pretend to be someone I’m not
- Repetition and consistency do help remove/reduce the fears
- Keep it simple – tech can get in the way and doesn’t have to be complicated
- Focus on just one thing**
- It was so supportive and comforting to have company along the way***
- The support I received was amazing, and an additional bonus of the challenge ****
*which ties in beautifully with my life ethos of embracing the perfect nature of imperfection = wabi sabi.
**I could have made this challenge more complicated, tying in my videos with cleverly weaved in links to coaching, statements that tied in with wanting you to subscribe to my mail list or get a free informal initial chat booked in. However, I chose to keep it simple and not kick off the feeling of overwhelm from trying to do too much too soon.
*** A few people joined for some of the videos and it was a joy to watch those and see how my prompts were interpreted. I’m particularly grateful for a few early posts from Sarah Bryer who, in her words showed up and recorded her videos “not looking too glam 🤣 but if I can do this… so can you” – this was absolute bliss to see and gave me permission to stop fussing over my appearance!! Biggest thanks of all go to Angela Boyd who joined me for the whole challenge, offering encouragement, posting up heartfelt messages and reminding me why I was doing this. The privilege of Angela’s company was all mine.
A few days after the end of the challenge Angela made a comment that resonated with me in a LinkedIn post “Videos really do bring a person to life“. We spoke about this in our Live IG chat (live recorded on Instagram on 28th December).
**** Thank you to each and every person who commented, liked or shared my posts or messaged me privately – it’s always a pleasure to have what you are doing appreciated by others. I know my message of doing the hard thing to build confidence is shared by many and I hope I’ve inspired just one person to give that ‘thing’ a go and see you are more capable than you realise.
I know my message of doing the hard thing to build confidence is shared by many and I hope I’ve inspired just one person to give that ‘thing’ a go and see you are more capable than you realise.
A particular shout out to the community in the Coaching Crowd Business Lounge who sent words of encouragement. Anna Hewitt deserves a special mention for her messages through my challenge, just off the back of her own 30 day reel challenge it was an inspiration to see her posts which were a big encouragement. It’s true – if someone else can do something, so can I.
- My next specific goal is to record a video of my story, based on what I said on days 12 and 14 of the challenge, and get this posted up on my website.
- I will also be continuing to show up in videos, reels and live IG’s.
- With my boost in confidence I’ve decided the time is right to set up an accountability group – monthly check ins to keep on track of goals and have that group accountability to show up and do the hard stuff. If you want to be in the loop ensure you subscribe here.
Life coaching conversations can help you adopt better habits and thought patterns. You have the space and time to explore what keeps you stuck, unfulfilled and not living aligned to your values. If this sounds like something you’d like to look into take a look at the Services I offer or get in touch to arrange an initial free and informal chat.